This Is Not Child's Play. - The Doll (2017)

Imagine being a 20 something guy with a truly obnoxious roommate who brings home strippers to play with him in the hot tub. While trying to get rid of said strippers, they start coming on to you. Of course, this is when your girlfriend walks in. The girlfriend dumps you and moves out. Obviously, the roommate says, this is when you send out for a hooker. The call girl shows up, and is beautiful, but very odd. Make that "ODD" in all caps. Because, what you and your roomie don't know is this prostitute is not even a real human being, but a doll who has been constructed by a shaman/mad scientist for only one purpose: MURDER!!!! 

Yep, that is the plot of the 2017 feature The Doll. Our protagonist Eddie is played by Anthony Del Negro and the incredibly annoying roommate Chris is played by Christopher Lenk. On IMDB, porn legend Ron Jeremy is given top billing playing a pimp who shows up for about 2 minutes. Natasha, the call girl, is played by Valeria Lukyanova, known the world over as "The Human Barbie".

I have to say, Lukyanova is probably the best casting in the movie. Well, other than Ron Jeremy as a pimp. Lukyanova is beautiful, but in a creepy, I-really-look-like-I-am-made-from-plastic way. You might think this is just great makeup, but it isn't This picture is her in real life. Not to sound mean, but she makes my skin crawl. So, yeah, casting director, well done! 

Honestly, that is really the only good thing I can say about The Doll. The plot is ludicrous. The lighting is poor. The acting is either way over the top or totally flat. There are no characters in the film that have any likeability, and you do not have any sympathy for them. You kind of root for all of them to die. The early scene with the strippers borders on softcore porn (at least there is no gratuitous nudity), and might make adolescent boys hit the pause button a few times. Of course, you add up all the negatives this film has, and a sequel is surely on the way. *sigh*

Let's face it, dolls are creepy. There have been dozens of films featuring possessed dolls. But, for every Child's Play, Annabelle, or Dolly Dearest, there are probably four movies like The Doll. This is obviously a cash grab flick trying to capitalize on the success of films like Annabelle and Valeria Lukyanova's 15 minutes of internet fame. Pass on this one, folks. Throw on The Stepford Wives instead. No, not the remake, the original.